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Writer's pictureJamie Azar

How to Put the “Sense” in Sensual: Hear Me Out

Updated: Jul 22, 2022




Exploring touch, textures, temperatures moistness, objects, vibrations and environments can be great ways to start reconnecting with your sensuality and overall pleasure receptors.


When our five physical erotic senses, touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight are used in sensuality and intimacy, we can create a grounded and present mind-body connection.”


Surviving in a high functioning, overstimulated, chaotic, and often unjust society can easily leave one “hardened” to the world, especially when we find ourselves in the midst of pain or suffering. We often feel as though we have to discard our softness for an armor of resilience and fortitude to solidify our own perceptions of strength, independence, or righteousness. It’s understandable why so many of us feel an inherent disconnect between our minds and our bodies. We feed our nervous systems while in a semi constant state of fight or flight and ignore the soft calling of our bodies and souls, for sensuality, intimacy, and pleasure.

Sensuality can be defined as the ability to fully enjoy our senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, and hearing. Sensuality can sometimes be sexual, but it doesn’t have to be. Anything that is physically pleasurable can be sensual. It could be dancing, or cooking, or laughing, or swimming, or drawing, or maybe simply breathing. When our five physical erotic senses, touch, taste, smell, hearing and sight are used in sensuality and intimacy, we can create a grounded and present mind-body connection, which allows us to relax and enhance our comfortability, pleasure, and arousal. Of course, every individual will have different preferences when it comes to sensory stimulation depending on their own cognitive associations, experiences in past relationships, emotions, and desires. This opens the door to some incredible opportunities to explore and play, either by yourself, or with your partner(s). Exploring touch, textures, temperatures moistness, objects, vibrations and environments can be great ways to start reconnecting with your sensuality and overall pleasure receptors. However, entering into BDSM can be intimidating. So, if you haven’t had it already, here’s a little introduction to sensation play and why you should try it, which is a great entry point that allows you to lightly explore some new territories of BDSM while feeling empowered, pleasurable, and sensual. While many people may initially associate BDSM with pain, there are many people who engage in sensation play that involve a mix of sensations and stimulations, from heavy to light, often times involving other elements of BDSM such as role play or bondage (Kinklovers.com) While sensation play can involve heavier types of play such as impact play, you can also try less painful interactions such as: (add links)

  1. Tickling

  2. Rubbing

  3. Wax Play

  4. Ice Play

However, for this article, I’d like to feature some other more nuanced, auditory ways to engage in sensation play:

  1. Audio Erotica: Let’s face it. When it comes to dirty talk, it can be difficult to find our “authentic” voices. I think we’ve all been programmed to feel as though our “narratives” have to adhere to at times, pornographic standards, which isn’t reality. There’s no shame in having a little support along the way, to either alleviate the pressure from ourselves, or to simply add another layer of erotic arousal. Plus, hearing the pleasure of another couple can further stimulate you and your partner, and heighten the intimacy. Whether you want some “company” for a night to yourself, or whether you want to add some feigned yet impactful presence in the bedroom with your partner to add a little playfulness, try playing around with audio erotica. Check out Quinn - Audio erotica for women. (tryquinn.com) for different voices, categories, and playlists if you find yourself invested.

  2. Erotic ASMR: ASMR is shorthand for “autonomous sensory meridian response” a fancy term used to describe the hair-raising sensation you get from aural, visual, and tactile stimulation, otherwise known as “brain tingles” or “brain orgasms.” Sometimes, the simplest approaches, like Whispering can have the most awe-inducing effects, while keeping things light and playful. Turns out, whispering can induce brain orgasms, the kind that triggers the tingling sensation from the crown of your head down the route of your spine, oftentimes leading us to squirm from the unnerving yet pleasurable effect, generally followed by a calm relaxation. Even if we don’t get the “tingles,”studies have shown ASMR to decrease heart rate and have similar effects to yoga and mediation on the brain and body. Pair this with some other form of sensory restriction, like blindfolding, and be prepared to let your imagination unveil itself. If you need some support, check out Erotic ASMR Audio ― Audiodesires which features soothing, relaxing, and arousing erotic sounds to promote intimacy by yourself or with your partner(s). There can be power in softness.

  3. Audio Porn: There’s something uniqely satisfying and fun about engaging your own imagination without the visuals. It can be narrated or simply isolated, erotic sounds that turn you on or make you feel sensual. Dipsea | Short and Sexy Audio Stories (dipseastories.com) has short stories, audio erotica, and educational content. Whether you want to focus on reigniting your sensuality, or want to add some nuanced ways of enlivening your intimacy with your partner(s), adding some simple sensation play can truly help to increase communication, improve sexual difficulties, enhance trust, and generally add some more fun and playfulness to your life. While we primarily focused on auditory stimulation, there is beauty in all the senses. If you’re looking for some more ways of engaging some of your other senses, check out the following article here:

And remember, it’s fun to reflect on your experience, either by yourself, or with your partner. What did you like? What felt good? What sounds turned you on the most? Were there certain noises or breathing patterns that excited you the most? What other elements might you add to further layer the sensory experience for yourself or your partner(s) in the future? Remember, in the end, it’s all about feeling comfortable, experiencing pleasure, and having fun, and should ultimately leave you tingling for more.

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