Question for you: when’s the last time you really laughed?
Think about that for a moment.
….
I recently attended a workshop on Pleasure Through Laughter and Play led by Jenny Shealy, LCSW, and this was one of her opening questions.
She cited an interesting statistic which I’ll share with you here: Did you know the average four-year-old child laughs 300 times a day? By contrast, it takes more than two months for the average 40-year-old adult to laugh that many times. There’s even such a thing as a “humor cliff” which observed that the frequency at which we laugh and smile plummets around age 23.
Did you know that laughter itself can be a form of nervous system calibration? Not only that, did you know there’s such a thing as a laughgasm? Nothing is more delicious than losing yourself in a side-splitting, seemingly endless crying with laughter session, and that type of laughing can certainly help you experience the relief, release and feeling of refreshment you might have from an orgasm…that is, clear the mind, settle the synapses, relax-reboot and all is well…
Laughter can also increase the level of endorphins and neurotransmitters that are health-enhancing, while lowering the level of stress hormones in your body, like cortisol. Overall, laughter provides fantastic physical and emotional release, and not only that- it also provides…PLEASURE!
And what’s one way to invoke laughter?
You’ve got it…. through play!
So, what is play, and how we can incorporate it more into our s*xual and non-s*xual lives?
Dr. Stuart Brown, Founder of the National Institute for Play defines play as something done for its own sake, something that is pleasurable, engages us, and which involves an act that is more important than the outcome- and, it’s important to note those pleasurable activities are different for everyone!
When it comes to s*x, it’s my personal opinion that sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously. What might it look to laugh during s*xy time? To get a little silly? Can play itself be an avenue to incorporate more pleasure in your life?
Playing is something we can do to get creative, add intimacy, and make space for opportunities to explore with ourselves, or our partner(s).
Here are three games you can play with your partner to add some creativity, fun, and laughter to your relationship or intimate life!
Hide and Go Freak: Is there something special you want to bring into the bedroom? Hide a s*x toy, lingerie, blind fold, paddle, etc and tell your lover(s) that everything they find will be used later that night.
Power Play: From a naked tickle war, pillow fight, or play wrestling- incorporating consensual levels of power play, or struggling against your partners can be arousing, fun, and pleasure inducing. You might consider upping the stakes and make an agreement on what the loser will have to do for the winner.
Red Light Green Light: Tell your lover(s) to lick and kiss all over your body-from head to toe! When you say red light, they have to stay right where they are and continue licking, kissing, sucking, massaging, etc that area of the body. When you say green light, that’s their cue to continue exploring your body.
It’s worthwhile to note that s*xy or erotic play doesn’t have to involve or center penetration, orgasm, or s*x at all. As always, it’s also important to establish a safe word with your partner(s) or playmate(s). And remember, there’s no right or wrong way to play- the goal is to have fun, enjoy yourself, and give yourself permission to feel good!
Like these games? You can download your own free workbook and more from Sexual Resources | Afrosexology — AFROSEXOLOGY.
Interested in getting more personalized support with living a more pleasure centered life? Work with me! You can email me at azarjamie747@gmail.com to schedule your free consultation today!