What is Compulsory S*xuality?

Have you ever heard the term?...read below for more information...

What Creates Pressure?

It’s undeniable that our culture and media is obsessed with s*x. Naturally, the representation, miseducation, and stigmatization catalyzed by the media can have detrimental impacts on one’s own understanding of s*x and s*xuality. With the number of stories on tv, advertising, books, and music about sex, romance, and love, it’s easy for us to feel like we should be having and desiring a certain type of s*x often, and if we don’t either have that s*x, or desire it often then something must be wrong with us.

What is Compulsory S*xuality?

There is a societal belief known as “compulsory s*xuality,” a term borrowed from Adrienne Rich’s 1980 essay “Compulsory Heteros*xuality and Lesbian Existence” and used by the writer Shorronda J. Brown, author of “Compulsory S*xuality,” who defines the topic as “the societal belief that s*xuality is something we are obligated to participate in, that everyone desires s*x and that it is normal and healthy and required to have s*x. It is generally rooted in the idea that everyone should be having s*x the “right way.” usually meaning p@nis-in v@gina between straight men and women.”

How Can It Be Harmful?

Compulsory s*xuality can be particularly harmful to people who are as*xual, or ace for short, a broad and complex queer identity for those who experience little or no s*xual desire for themselves and others. However, compulsory s*xuality can create problems for many people, regardless of your s*xual orientation, given the impacts it can have in creating unrealistic or romanticized ideals or expectations of love, romance, s*x, creating narrow definitions of s*x and s*xuality, explicitly and implicitly centralizing heteronormative standards, and leading many to feel like there is inherently something wrong with you if you deviate in any way from these expectations.

Angela Chen, author of “Ace,” What As*xuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of S*x, writes “because s*xual variation exists, there is no universal vision of liberated s*xuality.” In other words, your s*xuality and s*xual or non-s*xual journey is completely yours to define and create and/or co-create with yourself and others, on your terms, based on what feels right and good to you; that is pleasure, and that is your birthright. You have the right to evolve on your terms, and experience liberation in the most unique way that feels good for you.

What To Do Next

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